Doh Stories

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Pass Me the Festivus Pole

by patientlee on Sep 16, 2017
Reviews & Essays

Pass Me the Festivus Pole: Group gift exchanges. As Frank Costanza from Seinfeld would say, "The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances." Pass me the Festivus Pole, and listen up. Takes Festivus Pole This year, the number of group gift exchanges has gotten out of hand for my family. I appreciate that it's an attempt to limit the number...

Elasticity

by Hvar01 on Dec 28, 2018
Fantasy

Linus woke up normally, just as any other. But one thing felt odd, he felt a bit too loose - like after having a really good massage. He didn't think more about it besides it feeling really good, all of his normal stiffness was gone. He checked his phone but nothing interesting got his interest. After a few minutes, he decided that it was time for breakfast,...

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Friday, March 11

by sfla on Sep 16, 2017
Transsexuals & Crossdressers

I am wet. We are in a cab. The taste of Marlboro and whisky on his breath as we kiss, his hand runs under my t-shirt, fumbling for the release of my bindings. My hand is on his cock, over his tight jeans... he is hard, hot under my fumbling fingers. I rub him through the coarse fabric, as his fingers release the elastic. I exhale heavily as he releases my...

Old Enough to Know Better

by HughMungus1 on Jan 29, 2020
Humor & Satire

"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." ― Thomas Mann Face-fucking the 83 year old ― atop the ruined mattress at the desert swing club ― the fuck junky realized something: Receiving head from an octogenarian feels exactly the same as having one's cock sucked by a woman in her 20s. Still, many cringe at the former, while overtly embracing the lat...

The Simpsons

by inyotefi on Sep 18, 2017
Celebrities & Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: I do not own the series that this fanfic is adapted from, nor do I make any money off the writing of it. * Springfield... ...It was an every day kind of day... ...Marge Simpson was busy as always with housework, her propped up blue hair tied under a bandanna, the bandanna itself looked like it was tied around a pole. Maggie was asleep upstai...

Moon Rise Ch. 01

by Tempest_Wolfsong on May 21, 2019
Novels and Novellas

It was the screaming on my cell that finally woke me. Little obnoxious minions screaming "Bee-doh! Bee-doh!" at max volume. I moaned in protest, and opened one eye, trying to gather my wits about me. I consoled myself with the fact that it was this alarm. I knew I was in trouble if it was the army drill sergeant singing to "bitch, get the fuck up!" That woul...

Grumpy Mandy

by PricklyRedRose on Sep 15, 2017
Toys & Masturbation

Mandy didn't like being told what to do. Mandy didn't like sex in public. Even more than those two put together, she sure as hell didn't like waiting weeks for sex. And she didn't like how pushy Joseph was getting. There was a lot that she didn't like about today and she was going to have to adjust Joseph's attitude. But first, she needed to get him home, st...

The Game

by oldroo on May 11, 2020
Mature

We met online, and as luck would have it, we lived in the same city. During our second chat, I invited Matilda out to dinner. She accepted, and we arranged to meet at The Old Federal the next evening. The Old Federal was a heritage-listed pub that had been tarted up to attract the well-heeled mob, who liked the adventure of slumming it on the edges of a rec...

Born on Christmas Day

by Spencerfiction on Sep 16, 2017
Sci-Fi & Fantasy

"Mary's boy child Jesus Christ, was born on Christmas Day, signed Henry," the girl at the service counter read the report from the last tour guide to come in. "Doh!" she thought, not experienced enough to know if this was an unusual report or not. But then, everything was unusual today, of all days. She had found the report on the counter, the guide Henry...

Words of the Week (2005) 01

by velvetpie on Sep 13, 2017
How To

Whenever I read, I keep a pencil handy and I underline words that I don’t know and dog ear the page so that I can go back and look them up in the dictionary. I have always been interested in etymology and even took Latin for three years. I hope that these words can help all of us in our writings. Be sure to check out your dictionary for additional usages of...